Deep Thoughts from my Sick Bed to You

1. Hairy siberian huskies are the funniest dogs ever, even when they do things they aren't supposed to - like climbing on the furniture while you are watching TV so they can BE.RIGHT.NEXT.TO.YOU.
2. Gary Cooper was the hottest movie cowboy ever, and the best company a girl can have when she's laid up on the sofa with typhoid mary.
3. Divorcing that dill hole was the best decision I ever made (she says after receiving yet another stupid text from the ignoramus).
4. There are decisions we make in our lives that might either haunt us until we die, or give us great relief and freedom for the remainder of our days. I've made a couple that could have haunted me, but [thankfully] do not.
5. M&M's Chocolate should be numbered among the ranks of our best friends.
6. There are few things more beautiful than a good day of skiing. Picture it now: the crisp mountain air, the sun shining on your face, mastering something that is a challenge - aah. Reflecting upon the upcoming season will lift the spirits of the patient (and probably typhoid mary too) immensely.
7. Even your favorite people will disappoint you once in awhile. Usually a really good cry makes it better, if only a little.
8. Watching the screensaver slideshow on your laptop while convalescing will open your mind to things other than your present discomfort. For instance, I am reminded that Africa is the saddest, scariest place ever. It's also the happiest and most beautiful.
9. Thanksgiving is the most under appreciated holiday ever created. To the vegetarians I know - I mock you on this day of deliciousness, and pledge to delight in several pieces of sumptuous turkey whether my stomach is ready for it or not. *please bless*
10. There is almost nothing better than getting lost in a really great book. Want to forget about the daily grind? Grab a book. Looking to learn something new? Grab a book. Need to forget about the fact that chocolate might not act like your best friend whilst you are sick? Grab a book. And maybe a bucket.

Noticable Silence

So, you may have wondered why I haven't added my two cents about the election here. Or about anything going on in this roller-coaster environment right now...because, well, if you know me, you know I am a politics whore and can't shut up about it. I may have even been accused of judging a few of my peeps who didn't see eye-to-eye with me. But whatever. That's a total lie.

Ok - so probably, you didn't give a rat's ass about my opinion. But since it's all about me (Yes Tequila - me), let's just say I'm gonna pretend you missed my thoughts on the subject and tell you a small story.

A week or so after the election, I went to lunch with some friends. We were noshing on our salads, enjoying the conversation, when one of them said to me, "...and anyway, when did this election become about race?". And my initial reaction to this was simple - without one second to think about her words, I wanted to jump on her face, give her a few good kicks in the crotch, and leave her for the buzzards. But then I realized...and, um, don't be shocked at these next words y'all - that I kind of felt the same way. A little.

Before you run off in a huff - or stomp on my face and kick my ovaries over into to the Grand Canyon - here's why. I realized right there - mid masticate - that I knew all along that this was an historical presidential election; I was either going to get a black man or a woman for my preferred candidate, and we were totally gonna win. Beyond that, I didn't really give it anymore thought. Perhaps this is because I live in Utah, and you are lucky if you see maybe 3 African Americans in a year here. I guess I just didn't spend any real time thinking about race. And then - then Obama gave his acceptance speech, and I literally shed a tear or two. I got chills thinking about what I was witnessing - I even thought about my funny grandma who didn't get to see this in her lifetime when they talked about his grandma.

But here's the icing on the cake for me - the morning after, I was watching Good Morning America, and Bill Weir was reporting stories from the night before about the crowd in Times Square. I'm totally paraphrasing here, but basically, he described a scene where this African American woman and her young daughter were hugging in the streets - jumping up and down, crying, laughing - so excited about the results. And then, ABC threw this picture of all of the former American presidents up on one of the screens...all of these white faces, except for one. And this mom and daughter literally CRUMPLED in the street. Fell to their knees and just bawled.

I still get chills when I think about that.

I'm not a descendant of slaves, never really experienced discrimination on a grand scale. I studied sociology, and the civil rights movement, but I only know a handful of blacks on a personal level. I will never understand what it is like to walk in their shoes.

For just one minute, that morning - I feel like I kind of did, if only for one small second. I understand now that this was always about race for some people, and I'm really proud of America for finally seeing past skin color.

Public Service Announcement

Ahh...another thrilling installment of my Emergency Blogcast System:

Unless you want me to CRAWL UP IN YOUR HAIR AND POO in it, you will NEVER, EVER purchase and display this kind of crap in your home:

Thank you.

Spotted Today: Endangered Species

Something rarely seen around here:

If you squint, you can see angels descending from heaven singing "laaaaaa"!!!

Wanted: Muse

Let's take a moment to discuss the white elephant that has parked his happy ass right on top of this blog. He walked in, saw a glaring vacancy, and decided that this would be his new home. No one else was using it, right? Stupid squatter.

The problem is that when he decided to set up camp on my blog, he also sat right on top of my head. And squished out any of the blog post inspiration that I may have had. Any clever ideas wafting around in my brain evaporated into the cosmic goo of death.

So...why make an appearance now, you ask? I can't know. Perhaps because it's daylight savings time and the darkness makes me need someone to type to? Or maybe I needed a round of anonymous therapy. Whatever the case, it's clear that I am going to need a little help. Like...a muse. And before you get all up in my grill about what that means, let me clarify: I'm not talking about your stereotypical type of muse - you know, the Greek goddess type with the enormous, heaving cleavage who uses her sexual charms to inspire her admirers to be brilliant. (I could totally go off course right now on the sociological effects of using the female sexuality in that way, but wah-wah. How predictable. I'll spare you.)

I got nothin'. Except...maybe this -

I have had 3 - count 'em - THREE false starts to this blog post, but mostly just ended up with drool dripping down my chin and a glazed look in my eyes. And then this "thing" happened to me today that - although not a really big deal to me in the grand scheme of things, was quite possibly a really big deal to someone else. And all of a sudden, all of these thoughts were swirling around in my head, making me feel like I had a piece of prime rib stuck to my back while Kujo was in hot pursuit. I mean - for real, people. Don't you sometimes wish your brain had an "off" switch?

The best I can give you today is this: I think I sort of got accused of being a homewrecker today (in a round about sort of way), and whoa. It's making my freakin' head spin. Perhaps it wasn't so much an accusation as it was a perception and subsequent implication by someone else. *la la la* And I guess I'm telling you this because, well frankly, it gave me pause. After living through the hell of my assbag ex and his vow breaking sex-capades, I am gobsmacked as to why anyone would think I would ever go there. I am talking COMPLETELY GOBSMACKED. Not just sort of gobsmacked. Like A LOT gobsmacked. And by the way, I love the word gobsmacked.

Woo! The digressing!

I'm not going to elaborate anymore, because I respect the parties in question too much. It's just completely bizarre to me to be sitting on this side of the fence when I gave so little thought to the situation to begin with.

Right. That's the best I got. You'll have to also consider this my plea to the cosmos to send me a real muse. There must be something, anything better than that, right?

Whatever. Whilst I chew on this startling switch from victim to homewrecker, I've decided to jump into a torrid love affair with these babies:

So, so - custom, so - heat-molded, so - oh so hot! Please bless I can do so without another torn ligament.