A Contradiction in Jewels

For some reason, I have recently developed this intense love of jewelry. I have always had my standard necklace and earrings - the ones that I never take off (and if I did, then ew - hazmat would probably have to come quarantine a 40-mile radius around me...given all the yummy ear sludge build up).

That's right folks. Sludgy ear build up. I'm not above discussing such atrocities around here. Go eat your lunch with that mental image in mind. Or whatever.

So where was I going with this? Oh. Right. Jewelry. There is, however, more to this train of thought that I am embarking on, but I promise - there is a point. Hang in there whilst I try to get to it.

In addition to jewelry, I loooooove Audrey Hepburn. She was/is the picture of all things feminine and lovely and graceful - thoroughly magnetic onscreen, and in real life, she was this altruistic humanitarian type. I'm drawn to that. Ask any woman who knows of her what they think, and I would bet dollars to donuts that they all say they love her. Well, ok - maybe not dollars to donuts. Dollars to something less glazed? Maybe. Or dollars to euros? Ooh! There's a plan I could make work right now.

Right. But finally, we come to the third arm of this train-wreck of a thought: Thanks to work, I have to spend all this time in Manhattan. And of course, it's not all work - I mean, when in Rome, right? If you are like the average "corporate tourist * ", you spend your free time wandering around China Town, the Meatpacking District, Central Park, 5th Avenue, Little Italy, the Village...blah blah blah. You might even accidentally end up in Queens **, once or twice. And if you are MY kind of corporate tourist, this means you WILL ALWAYS make at least one pilgrimage to Tiffany & Co. Let's call it an "homage" to the lovely Audrey - It's a "Lynette" thing.

Right. So allow me to sum up:

THIS:

PLUS THIS:

(Or 5th Ave, as the case may be...but whatever. I don't have a picture of 5th Ave.)
PLUS THIS:

...has turned me into a jewelry lovin' mama. More so now than ever.

NOTE: We have finally reached the portion of our programming wherein I get to the original point of this post. If you made it this far - hoorah!! You have the reading stamina of a librarian on speed. You, like me, are not averse to wordy-run-on-sentence-while-running-around-in-circles-to-get-to-the-point writing. We're blog soulmates.

Tiffany's then. The other day, my mom and I were on the Tiffany's website having a gander - mostly having a heart attack at the cost of things, and wondering how many people really spend that much coin on jewelry (I'm talking like $90,000 on necklaces and $18 bajillion dollars on rings - completely mind boggling), when we came uponst this little gem:

Ahem. And I just want to point out that if you were a peace-lovin' hippie from the 60's, and you now own this - well shame! And if you are just some yuppie wanna-be who purchased this, well then, you just don't get it.

Lame. I'm not so sure I love Tiffany's the way I once did.

* Those stuck somewhere in between the "locals" and those who are "real life tourists". We pretend we are Wall Street suits during the day, then lace up our walking shoes at night to breath it all in. We are all total frauds.
** This would never, ever happen, say, after splitting TWO bottles of high-dollar French wine with ONE other (small, stick insect-ish sized) colleague...only to accidentally get on the correct train - the "E" - which happens to be heading in the wrong direction. Nope. Never.