Secret Ballot Shmallot

Ok. I am enraged.

Somehow it escaped my notice that Utah is not having an open Primary this year.

*Weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth*

Probably most of you knew this (I evidently live under a rock) - you knew that you would have to REGISTER AS AN OFFICIAL REPUBLICAN if you wanted to vote for a republican candidate in the primary. You probably didn't care. It's a sad, but true state of affairs that I wrangle with every election year - the truth that even though a person's vote should count in Utah, it won't unless you are voting with the - ahem - "moral" majority.

Actually, that's not the part that irritates me the most. What I am really miffed about is that the whole concept of a "secret ballot" goes out the window when they do this. Allow me to paint you a picture:

Voter: "Hi. I am here to vote."

Blue Haired Polling Place Lady: "Our records show that you are unaffiliated. Will you be voting democrat or republican today?"

Voter: "Um...exactly why are you asking me this? Do I have to say?"

BHPPL: "Only if you want to vote in today's Primary...blah blah blah (this is the part where, if they could, they would say something about how if you declare yourself as a republican, you are authorizing every republican fundraising organization to harass you incessantly for money until it's all over...or something like that."

Voter (feeling violated and painted into a corner and making the only logical choice after hearing the options): "Hmm. I think I'll go...Democrat. Yes! That's it. Democrat."

And then, the big redneck brute with no teeth, 15 tatoos, and a beatin' goodie in his hands (who happens to be eavesdropping on your little exchange) is going to follow you out to your car and beat you to death in the parking lot - all because you didn't pick his favorite war monger republican candidate and he KNOWS it.

That's just plumb amazin'. Nevermind the fact that it alienates all the good fence-sitters that could go either way, but who would rather do it without opening their checkbooks and emptying their savings accounts. They aren't even going to trouble themselves with going if it means there has to be a commitment, right?

So whatever. Happy secret-ish Primary day! Take your taser or your mace for protection.