Today, during a particularly bloody conference call, a thought occurred to me. So of course, being the addict to instant messaging that I am, I shared it with my whole team...and now, I share it with you to make you all feel better about your own jobs. See how obliging I am? Just consider this post the next chapter in my upcoming self-help book. Or whatever.
Me: This project is like being dragged naked behind a horse through a rodeo arena full of poo while the clients stand above beating us with sticks. And there are man eating rodent's nipping at our wounds, and vultures hovering in circles overhead waiting for us TO DIE AND GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY SO THEY CAN HAVE LUNCH.
Colleague: Is that good naked or bad naked?? If it's good, I'm game. :)
Me: Ew! Any naked in front of your co-workers is bad. Do you really want to know what "so-and-so" looks like without clothes? Gah! Excuse me whilst I go poke out my mind's eye.
Moral(s) of the story: If you have never felt like this at your job, you win the "Who has the best job?" contest. And also, seeing your co-workers naked would be ill advised. The mental images you might conjure up in future business settings might not be good.
6 comments:
This next comment contains sexually explicit material, you've been warned. lol So.. I made my co-worker a cd for christmas. I named it "The black in you" obviously because it was rap music. So what does he text me when he gets it? *drum roll* "Now that i have the black in me, how about i put the black in you" Um.. I should share that said co-worker is a virgin and a returned missionary so this obviously was a joke. And i almost peed my pants of laughter and then was horribly embarrased. Um I think I have the best job.
Worse is having a female co-worker tell you one day that she's had a good month's worth of dreams about you. Worse then that, is her deciding to go into detail about her dream "top ten" (and you made all of them) in frnt of other female co-workers. Bad times...
Ash - Hilar! And PS - I always knew you had the best job! Great big office, take your kid to work...what else could you ask for? Lucky gal.
JR - Ew! You have a stalker. You better go poke out YOUR mind's eye. :)
I should take pictures of my office... Ya I'll do that. It's like office/nursery. How's the acl?
I have the best job because I don't actually have to speak with my co-workers if I don't want to. Yay!
Kate - you work with a bunch of coke snorting freaks with trucker mouths and/or creepy boys who give you the "undress you" stare...but then again, you DO get to pick who's hair you even cut, so that's something. Please never stop cutting mine. The birds might move back in!
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