Calling in "Frozen"

This morning, like, well, some work day mornings - I was ironed and dressed, totally coiffed - I was even wearing lipstick, praise be. I was completely ready to face the day of corporate torture that lie ahead, so I packed up my laptop (and all the other crap I lug to and from the office each day) and walked out to the garage. So far so good. As per usual, I pressed the garage door opener, but instead of the expected whoosh of cold air on my face, I was welcomed with a low "grrrrr". So what does any other non-mechanically inclined girl do when something growls at her? Insist on compliance, and try again, of course! Only this time, the door did not respond kindly to my female persuasion (a.k.a "nagging"), and instead, the opener chain went kind of slack and sickly looking.

Huh. Perplexing.

So I set down my stuff, walked over to investigate, and discovered that my GARAGE DOOR WAS FROZEN TO THE GROUND. Literally. Surely, such a phenomenon is completely impossible? And surely this wasn't happening to me on a day when I set my alarm and actually planned on going in to the office instead of working at home? When I had actually IRONED?

I began to assess the situation:

• Perhaps a few kicks at the crack would do the trick? Nothing.
• Maybe if I got the shovel out and slipped it underneath in a few strategic places? No response.
• What if I shoved this small garden trowel underneath here and there? Uh uh.
• How about if I were to pour a bucket of hot water along the edge? Nada, nada, zip.

In the end, I had to call in a favor and ask for a ride (embarrassment of all embarrassment). And that was after I called my boss to say, "...you are totally not going to believe this, but the dog ate my homework and now I am totally frozen into my house."

These pictures do not do the garage door frozen-ness justice, nor to they accurately depict the frozen tundra of life we are experiencing here:

Surely, this has never happened to anyone in the history of the world? Can it really be possible that this can happen? Scientifically - is there really a possibility that the rubber lining of your garage door can FREEZE TO CONCRETE on a morning when you are actually PREPARED to go somewhere?

Evidently.

Next time you need a good excuse to get out of work, allow me to be your fib-telling inspiration.