Let's Play "Grab-Ass", Shall We?

So I am standing in the doorway of my boss's office yesterday - having an intense, work-related conversation (because, yes, sometimes I actually do accomplish a thing or two at work), when, lo and behold, I suddenly feel someone GRAB MY ASS. Not just a mere pat, you know - like the "dude pat" that close friends sometimes exchange, but a full on "handful" of ass. It took me a second or two to recognize what had just occurred. I mean, ordinarily, I would have been prepared to turn right around and kick the offender square in the junk. But at work? Seriously. These things are unexpected.

It turns out that it was a close friend of mine, who thought he was being funny. But now the whole thing has been escalated to the office "poobah-in charge-of-all-things-harrassment-in-the-workplace", and she's making me fill out this stupid report, and it's quite possible my friend will lose his job. And to be honest (for the most part anyway), I am not really that offended - I mean, I don't want to be the reason he gets his walking papers. Which leads me to ask, "why not"? I mean, if it had been the old guy with the one-leg-longer-than-the-other who sports a cane and a permanent food stain on every shirt he owns, I would have been mortified!

What say ye, dear friends? Clearly, what constitutes harassment and what doesn't is subject to some debate. Is that fair? As a woman, should I be waving the "I've been so violated!!!" banner high? Should I rant and rave and make sure they make an example of him so that no one else ever has to feel threatened or objectified when they enter our work space?

Because truthfully, I think my particular foray into the world of workplace harassment was kind of a crack up. It makes me laugh - and shudder a little at the same time. Does it mean I am not respected*? Or maybe that I am just one of the guys? Hmm.

It has probably spread like wildfire across the floor, and come Monday, we'll both be getting crap for it.

Assuming he is still around.


*Well, um, duh.